It's been one year since my last post, which was about a career move from Starhub, the very first company I joined since I graduated and stayed for a good 3-years. So, one year has passed. I'm moving on to the next chapter, again. I know it's quite fast talking about a career move. Believe it or not, I did not plan for it. I wasn't looking out and I am in fact happy with what I'm doing, be it the job itself, the people, or working environment.
So, how did it happen?
It just did. After leaving Starhub as NOC engineer, I changed my career path to project management and I must admit, I was so scared and afraid that I might make the wrong decision. It's a careerwe are talking about. Those who understand me must know, I'm the type who fucking living in the present. Period. Tell me about financial planning, family planning, and I'll just pass out in seconds. So can you imagine how lost I was hitting that crossroad in life?
Who knows this girl who created this blog, writing the blog posts ever since she was 17 (or so?), is now a big girl. A matured thinking, working adult I must add. Of course there were obstacles, downfalls, pissed customers, undelivered projects, heated discussions, complicated troubleshooting, and the list goes on. But one thing this job brings me, is the satisfaction of completing the projects, the rapport you established with your customers and partners. It's about meeting people, putting things together, delivering a project which meets customers' requirement and more so, achieving customers' satisfaction. To put it simply, it's about the sense of achievement that drives you to work each morning.
Job scope apart, I've met wonderful people. I don't know what I did to deserve having all kind souls in my life. I count my blessing each day and I truly am one of the luckiest few on earth. I didn't plan for all these. It all just panned out in front of me. And it seems like the best opportunity at that point of time so I simply grabbed the chance. It turned out well. More than well if I must add.
This this time round is no different. I just meet angels along the path in life. I know it's not just by saying it but, I'm always grateful. For everyone of you, for things happened in my life so far. Of course there were unhappy events, but without them I'm not who I am.
...
Ask me what is the perk of being an adult, I will tell you it definitely is being financially independent.... Well probably also you are being treated as an adult albeit you are a total kid on the inside. No permission needed to have a late night out (well I do still tell my parents, but just out of respect), you go wherever you wish for travelling (given that it's within your budget), you shop at your own interest (and of course wallet), etc. etc..
Allow me to sidetrack a little, Santorini is really beautiful.
It tops the places I'd been so far. I thought it was so overrated, too commercialized. What a fool I was. I'm glad I paid this island a visit and took in all the views with my very own eyes. I wish I have time to blog about this trip I made to Greece & Istanbul. If and only if...
...
Be respectful, be responsible, be kind. We make our own calls, but more so we need to be mindful of the consequences. I personally think that it's important understanding how our actions or even words can make an impact/difference to the people around.
I don't know what is my end goal, I don't know what I'm after, heck I don't even know where I'm heading to, but one thing I'm pretty sure is that I am happy. And I guess that's all that matters.
As everybody knows, I always am the happy positive kind. I believe in pure intentions, believe by nature everyone is kind at heart. I'm often treated like the youngest in the family as they think I am so innocent and might easily get harmed by the harsh reality of this cruel world. What they don't know, is that underneath my happy go lucky personality, I actually know the fact that life is unfair. As such I'm more grateful for what I have now.
When I first stepped into workforce aka the adulthood, my dad always warned me, "don't trust people easily." However I have this theory of my own, "trust people with instinct." It hasn't failed me yet. I hope this lasts. Or perhaps, I'm lucky meeting all the kind souls along the way.
Today is the official last day with my company. After 3 years and 2 months, I realized it is the people that I miss the most. Never the place nor stuff. One thing I don't understand about myself, is that I never cried in front of any colleague whom I worked closely with, did not shed a tear when I hugged my boss goodbye, but I was so on the verge of crying when I bid farewell with this Malay old uncle who works as my company's security guard. Our friendship started from here I guess...
I'm looking forward, with a little nervousness, to embarking on coming new path. No more #猫在noc的女孩, thanks Cat for coming up this hashtag. Let's see what would be the next hashtag.
When given the choice between being right or being kind.
Which one would you choose.
To my Malay, Indian, Angmoh (Caucasian) & banana friends, you may need to google translate this blog entry, or else here's the much easier and better alternative, buy me coffee.
What happened to me? Nothing much has changed ever since I started working like 2.5 years ago, everything's bout the same I'd say. Adulthood, that's what.
Why is this sudden blog entry? Am down with the flu and have got nothing better to do except resting, that's why. Here's the funny thing, or not so funny- Earlier when I told my sister that I was feeling unwell, she replied,
"Tell me something new?"
Is she heartless or am I too weak. I think this is the 3rd or 4th time I went to the doctor within a month FML.
Starting this entry with the last sentence of my last post. "25 is definitely a big deal."
I must say reality is harsh. I was such a dreamer back then. Although no, I have no ambition like becoming someone big in the future, but I also never thought that I'd be like who I am today (haha no it isn't that bad as it sounds, my life). You must think what happened to me. But really what happened was just, I expected more from myself.
***
I was fearless. I was full of hope. I was passionate. I was almost always positive. I was such optimistic person I thought I'd survive in any given situation. In this process we called growing up I guess I somehow let loose of some principles I always held dear. Any old friend of mine would have known me this way, I always said,
"Don't worry be happy." "What it meant to be, it will be."
The older I get, those are the harder to believe.
"It's okay, look at the bright side," I tell myself. "Nah you will see. You know it ain't that simple," another voice in my head chimes in, almost every damn time.
***
I've been staying in my comfort zone for far too long. Longer than I'd expected, than anybody has had. I find the irony of what I've been looking, 'to be happy'. It used to be something I always aspired to. But somehow at this age, to be happy doesn't seem enough of a goal any more. Does it?
I guess putting everything on hold to achieve that one thing, actually means that you are miserable along the way to getting
there. And when you finally get there, you might find that the thing you always
wanted doesn't make you as happy as you thought it would. Now it may sound cliché, but it becomes apparent that happiness shouldn't be a destination but a part of the journey of our lives. We all know that but who actually really gives a darn about the journey. Well at least I didn't, shame to say.
Life is hard and we are all struggling in our own ways.
On the surface everybody is living a darn good life, who knows what would you see when you scratch the surface. The older I get and the more people I meet (well not as many as I'm #猫在noc的女孩, wtf so long never used this hashtag), the less I think I know. In the end of the day, you only know as much as people want you to know.
***
Feeling especially emotional when I looked back old photos and words I
wrote or shared. Glad that I have this blog to remind myself who I was,
or should I say who I really am? I know I can never have that same
naive but genuine feelings to myself ever again. I know I can't simply
pen down my feelings and thoughts anymore. I don't care being judged or
whatsoever, I always don't. It's just something has changed, I don't
know. Is that how becoming an adult turn you into?
When I was young and innocent back then, I always thought I
had not just a perfect day but a perfect, smooth sailing life. Because it's too perfect
you see, something was bound to go wrong. Now, "this" is not wrong, but
it's not my way either.
Seeing the bigger picture, I still like to think myself as a happy human being though, despite what I've just written. No doubt I'm that good at transitioning my mood. I just don't like the idea of being unhappy myself, let alone being unappreciative (I hope I don't sound like one mygod).
I used to believe I have kinda like bipolar symptoms anyway hahaha. Well personally a
bit unhappy that my saving for past few months has almost been a flat line wtf but overall I'm still
happy.
Time for some freedom off all shit.
***
I'm reading this book, still on-going. This sentence I read hit me hard.
"Because you have to be a certain age to earn the right to ruin your own life." - Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult
It may sound too harsh for me to put myself in that situation.
oh well... so it's another once-every-four-years Feb 29. I dug out if I had written anything on last Feb 29, turned out I actually did on 2012. :X
Have a read of leap year and wow. I didn't know why and how until I read this article from The Telegraph. There are many topics covered from how slim the chance to be born on Feb 29 to successful/failure rate of leap year proposals. Interesting.
"Leap seconds are crucial to ensuring the time we use does not drift away from time based on the Earth's spin."
"The extra second can sometimes cause problems for some networks which rely on exact timings. When a last leap second was added in 2012 Mozilla, Reddit, Foursquare, Yelp, LinkedIn, and StumbleUpon all reported crashes and there were problems with the Linux operating system and programmes written in Java."
Hmm. To me, this Feb 29 is just the day to return back to work. It's Monday. It's the last day of Feb 2016. The end of the eventful month.
I had a one-week long break on CNY this year. Visiting relatives and friends, non-stop eating, nua-ing at home. Best. I find myself took it long to adapt/resume back to working life. Blame the CNY snacks?
***
Back in Jan. We had a considerably "big" celebration to our Jan babies. Teng's on 24th and jHui's on 26th. My god entering the quarter-century birthday wtf.
Jan babies.
the beautiful ladies.
lai cheers ;)
act. XD
The highlight of the night would be hitting the lucky draw and getting a bottle of redwine. BUT. Soon when we were leaving, Qian couldn't start her car engine and found that her car battery was dead FHL. The kind waiters of the restaurant helped us jump starting the car TQ!
The scene was too precious/funny not to be taken down as record. Hahaha
The very next day? or next two days I forgot. Bunch of us back to Sg for work. That's the behind-the-scene of the seemingly glamorous life of ours and ofcourse our behind-the-makeup bare faces FOL! Feeling as if a betrayer now dont care wtf hahahaha.
Ohhhh and I cut my long hair short...er. Much shorter than I initially thought it would be. Now I miss my long hair. Ugh. Should have trusted Jason the hairdresser. He did warn me though.
及腰长发 eh? LOL
hen short you mei you...... well.. hair will grow eventually.... :'(
***
Stepping into February. Big thing for Chinese is of course CNY.
Contributed my bears as one of the house CNY decos.
老妈子. You probably think "this 不孝女" right letting my mom climb up and down. NO. She didn't let me. Hence I was the inspector checking if the paper-cutting was correctly placed at the middle.
CNY eve lunch. The fish is humongous no kid.
CNY eve car wash. The task given to Leejin and I. Both my parents' settled and now the "small cars" turn.
CNY eve night. Chill at home and listening to the fireworks and firecrackers for a good one hour. What's CNY for without angpao? hehehe
CNY Chor 1. The family.
CNY Chor 1. The siblings.
CNY Chor 1. The "siblings".
CNY Chor 1. The cousins.
CNY Chor 1. The partial family.
CNY Chor 2.
CNY Chor 3. Old friend meetup. Mr Chan.
CNY Chor 3. Family gathering 之 妈 我得奖啦!! 抱得一座海底爷.
CNY Chor 5. Old friends meetup. Mr Lim and Ms. Chew.
I never drank beer in a reallyyyy looooong while. XingJ see your face so big. HAHAHA.
CNY Chor 6. Short gambling session @ My house. Herng cosplayed dragon ball Goku?
CNY Chor 6. Qian's house. The gang.
CNY Chor 7. 人日 Mama's Pun Choy.
CNY Chor 11. Meetup with Cat.
aka my first time eating korean fried chicken.
CNY Chor (?). Visiting aunt's old school kopitiam + drinking milo-peng.
CNY very-super-duper sinful brunch, bak gua toast.
***
CNY (?) Chor 16 (?). Unimates meetup.
Thanks for the llaollao Terry Teh :P
♥♥♥
and Feb I have another big day to celebrate. or maybe not so big XD.
Went to Gianni's trattoria. We love the appetizer maybe too much. and this pizza is nice. Everything is good especially my company? Steal a shot. Happy birthday my man.
just wanna be a little vain. 21st, ♥, :)
♥♥♥
A little book review....
Think in January I done reading this book Trust in Me/You Can Trust Me, a mystery crime story by Sophie McKenzie.
Decided to purchase the book from this, "a long second passes before I let out my breath and the knowledge slams into my brain. Julia. My best friend. Is dead."
Very catching and fast-paced. Although I think the author can be more careful/detailed in building up the plot and some characters. I somehow find plothole like how did the murderer sneak in to Livy's property and what is the murderer's motive. The author never explained that until the end of the story or just lightly brushed through. However I do admire some characters like Will in the story, seems like a sophisticated person.
They said when you finish reading a good novel, you will find yourself slightly exhausted at the end of the story because you live several lives all at once. So true.
Trust in Me: 3.5/5.
"But now I know the things I know, and do the things I do. And if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you." Not originally coming from the Author but this is so ME. This is how you find connections with the books.
I googled a little about Dorothy Parker. Dorothy Parker was an American poet, short story writer, critic, and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks and eye for 20th-century urban foibles. - Wiki.
Here's the full poem of the quote in the novel.
“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
I fancy her poems and this is by far the best I resonate with.
“By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this --
One of you is lying.”
Witty!
Ok turned out I became a fan of Dorothy Parker. Well..
in some editions are named You Can Trust Me.
***
Oh Hi!
My first book revolving repressive social circumstances of China's Cultural Revolution. Ha Jin, the author won the National Book Award for a reason. It doesn't have a fast-paced plot. I can say the book has no climax of its own, doesn't have raising or falling action even. I don't know why but the book is enchanting. Very reserved, but well-characterised. From now and then you would see Chairman Mao's theories or political views being inserted throughout the novel.
Here's what I grabbed from Wiki.
“Waiting is set against the background of a changing Chinese society. It contrasts city and country life and shows the restrictions on individual freedoms that are a routine part of life under communism. But Waiting is primarily a novel of character. It presents a portrait of a decent but deeply flawed man, Lin Kong, whose life is spoiled by his inability to experience strong emotions and to love wholeheartedly.”
Waiting: 4/5.
***
Shopping in Popular bookstore and found this is interesting. Guess I'm now grabbing the tix to the heaven. Should have hold it tied right?
***
for all the sin I've had. Forgive me.
***
aghhh few hours left for this Feb 29.
Gotta prepare for work real soon. Damn night shift.
Reality is so harsh especially just flashing back to the past.
Gulp down and move on.
Is this called adulthood?
I'm planning to write down the adulthood I'm having at this phase of my life.
