Morning Diary I, SzeEe's

I've been staying up over 24 hours!! Thanks to the heavy work loads.

Christmas celebrating is a MUST for my family. We have a 'tradition' to celebrate Christmas ever since my dearest mom gave birth to my baby sis. She's Christmas baby! Right on 25th December. How awesome is that? The whole world is celebrating with you. I've been asked by so many people if I am a Christian due to the passion I show towards this festival. Am I looked one?? So this is the biggest reason why I treat Christmas BIG, because of my dearest sis and family.

Due to my responsibility towards the event I'm taking, I somehow stuck in dilemma whether I wanted to go back home or not. I felt sorry for not being together with them during this critical period, but I felt even sorry if I didn't spend this big day with my family. My dad called me few times this week, every time I hung up with my eyes brimming with tears. Guess all the accumulated feelings get me emotional at times. Nah.... I'm a girl anyway.

At the end, you know family is my all-time first priority. I feel so very thankful to your understanding.


Yes, CNYE gang you all! I'll be back in a short while! Don't miss me yea :)

Can't wait for my parents' arrival later today! Merry Christmas my friends! Morning world!!



Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.



xoxo
Ee

untitled II

思念并不甜，然而，我却那么远，
　　 虽然你不在我身边，但你的爱，真的在我心里面，
　 其实，在很久以前，我就已经决定自己不会再变了，
　　 虽然世事总是难以如愿，
　　 我依然相信，我能超越...
　　 我背负你的爱，像贝壳于大海，
　　 为你多捱点苦，泪也流乾，也应该，
　　 我背负你的爱，一辈子欠你甜蜜的债，
　　 因为你的付出，永远比我，更慷慨。
　　

——转自 藤井树《我们不结婚，好吗？》

Bittersweet

There's something we called disappointment, and I got a new definition for it. IF you feel that you have no any comment on a particular matter, truly speechless over it, that's words-can't-tell-how-bad-it-feels disappointment.

Clever enough you'll get what I'm talking about. Yes, final exam papers. For the careless part I think I should really slap myself into the face or bang my head against the wall. Leaving that part aside, I think I already did what I, a student should do. It's the fucking questions' fault! LOL!!!

Anyways, this matter couldn't bring me to hell. I sure gotta rock my holidays to the max.

I'll be going back to JB in few more hours. As what I'd mentioned, fully scheduled holiday awaits. People who want to date me please call the hotline. I will personally answer your call! how thoughtful I am?! HEHEHE

For MMU-ians, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

xoxo

Ee

Love

you don't know you don't know you don't know

you can't translate you can't translate you can't translate

BLEK!

love

Ee

I'm SzeEe | The Question Answered

It's all about SzeEe. Read it or skip it.

Are we the same type?

Now I know more about myself. Even deeply. After a girls talk session with loves.

I know I'm the happiest one on earth and I should appreciate everything I got which make me richer and completed, every person whom I love and they love me in return, every matter happened which make me stronger. To whatever, whichever, whoever coming across in my life, I feel thankful. No matter it's in a good way or whatnot, as long as it did make me grow up, become even more mature in thinking, widen my life experiences, etc etc..

I will sometimes miss the old me. I will question myself who the hell I'm turning into? Do I really want to go back to the past, literally, do I want to become who I was in the past. The question never answered.

Most of the time, people don't intend to mask up themselves, pretending to be strong, acting carefree, but it's reality to make them so.

I used to disguise myself once leaving my secondary school. I didn't know how ugly the outside world is. or, the so-called REALITY. Coming across so many things, matters, I thought I'd enough strength/ability to face any obstacle in life. But life ain't this easy. What I'd experienced is just a piece of cake. A tiny bit.

Alright, I'm aware of that disguise doesn't work, couldn't help but to bow to reality. I tried with any attempt, to treat everything following my own heart, true feelings. The only pleasure is that, at least I don't have to fake my own emotions. My attitude to life, person, matters has changed to a different perspective according to the situation.

Till then, EQ is up to another level.

I'm kinda an emotionally mature kind. I always know what kind of situation benefits me, and what doesn't. I barely talk my problems to anyone. I myself is the only listener to my heart. I sometimes love my own company. I sometimes need silence more than anything.

That's me. Do you think this kind of girl called a GIRL?

Maybe, this is now the best opportunity to learn something else, to 'upgrade' myself. To grow up mentally in a different aspect. To accommodate current life well. To live happily/harmonious with people around. To make my life, my loved ones' to the fullest and bestest.

Own world no more.

Past is the past, the time machine doesn't exist. Memory is for sake of remembrance, ain't an excuse to grab it back, if it meant lot to you, it will stay forever, deep down in your heart. For anything which doesn't belong to you, it is not yours, and it will not be. God is in control.

While typing this journal, I actually have a flashback of my past. I have changed so much. I'm twenty. And still on counting.

Now the question got an answer, No. I don't want to go back.

I'm SzeEe. I'm still me. No matter this is the new or old one. Because I'm growing up. Because this is life-experiencing.

Officially step into a brand new chapter of life.

"If you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow."-Tuesday with Morrie

Life lesson? I'm a newbie of it.

xoxo

untitled

Let's mourn for this moment.

Ee

My Day

After what I've been through past few days, I'm lucky enough to get myself back. Not longer the emo Ee, but now, the high energetic and cheerful Ee.

Degree first Sem result is out! I never expected I'd get such result. Words can't tell how excited I am, what's the feeling I felt right on the moment I looked at my grade. 4 out of 5 subjects totally out of my expectation!! TOTAL surprising! Guess many people out there get quite a surprise right?? Cause many friends of mine get a satisfying result! Thank God!


and of what I said in the posting during study week, I meant it. I didn't put much effort on the earlier stage, I always AM the one who do the revision last-minutely, don't have enough of determinant, bla bla bla.


I should pay more attentions on coming ones, at least to change my bad habit- last minute player. I really should.


I'm glad, I appreciate, I feel thankful. and I couldn't be anymore happier!!! Today is my DAY! It won't be spoilt! I give my words on it.



lastly, congrats to those who get good result, or archive your own target =)


with lotsa love & gratefulness,
SzeEe

Simplification

Yesterday wasn't my day. Serious. Though it was the first day of school reopen, but it didn't bring a good start. My mood just went so wrong I couldn't tell why. Monday blue I guess??

This is Tuesday. Perhaps everything will fall into it's own place.

For the first time, I don't enjoy the mystery of not knowing.


Simplify it, don't complicate!
*self remind*


Ee

0335

I admire the author of this comic*as everyone knows*. I love the quotes he stated inside the pics. Almost each one of the them got it's very own meaning. and that's the fascinating part or the highlight of the whole picture. I like his black humour and yet it's actually an irrefutable fact as well. Somehow, I read the quote and it's like saw me through, it touches the deepest of my heart.

Though it's all about the story of a dog, but if we read the messages delivered in the pic from a humanistic perspective, it actually offers quite an unique viewpoint of human nature. That's the reason why I sometimes uploaded the pic instead of typing the words out, because the pic tells everything I feel.

and right at this moment, yea I feel the same thing as Daodao does, again.


it's now 3.30am. I have to wake up at 8am later and attend for the 9am tutorial. zzZZ



I believe it will rain ever since 1 something, but until now, it doesn't show any little sign.


Hmm.... should I say night or morning??


anyway


Forget it. Better off now.


love,
SzeEe

HOMEsick

Story is like this

We are groupmates. We are supposed to submit a lab report together. We assigned our work, in the end I have to compile the answers.

He passed me his part. I kept it inside my file but didn't clamp it. After the class, I went back room and realized it's missing. I lost it.

I went back all along where I passed by and tried to find it. It disappeared in no where.

Story ended.

I hate myself being so careless. It happened so many times, and they never failed to make me feel so angry of myself. But this time I really feel upset I don't know why. I feel sorry and annoyance at the same time. Sorry because it's not mine, annoyance because I have to do it all over again, on my own.

no matter when you face the problems, family 'll always be there for you. It's true. I called my mom, but i didn't show my sadness, nor tell her my problem. I simply want to listen to her voice, talk bout our recent life. For no reason, her voice calm me down and I was like 'ohgod mommy I can't live without you'. Every mom has shown such ability I guess.



oh well. I'm fine now. I always am who I am. Maybe I'm careless sometimes, maybe I'm stupid sometimes, but people aren't perfect. things aren't perfect. but they're improving.

Gotta distract myself from thinking how careless I am. What's the best way?



Yea sleeping.


I have a meeting to attend at 9pm.

I have to complete the report.

I want to make a birthday card to my mom, if possible *conditional*

I want to go back JB tomorrow.

After going through such matter, after calling back home, I guess I'm homesick.



Night world♥

AtThisVeryMoment

Show encrypted text

Very Random

A title song from a Japanese cartoon movie- Spirited Away
*千与千寻*
Theme song- One Summer's Day

click here for the music score


It's been quite a long time since I last played this song,
viewing back the notes which I'd learnt when I was still young
there I realized
again

how the time flies


This song nvr failed to calm me down
I love the cello version of this song

After such a long time
it's now return back to my playlist, again
mainly because of getting influenced by my friend
he's addicted to this kind of songs
ohya, never mind it's work of Joe Hisaishi!!


Yea, time flies
it's time to start doing the revisions and all that
ironically, i'm going to watch 2 movies straight tomorrow with my classmates
Ironman2 and IPman2
I'm longing for this day for so long!!
and finally, it comes
muahahahahahha!!!


it's just a random yet short update
i know my blog is so freaking dead so damn silent
sorry, couldn't help
I've no time to update
there's tons of albums in my lappy
I wonder how am i going to replace every entry
i guess most probably i'd skip some of it
LOL
*wat a lazy+lousy blogger i am*


ohya!!
GOOD NEWS!
I think i'll be going back on coming weekend,
gonna celebrate MOTHERS' DAY with my deareset family!!!
I feel so excited whenever this decision pops up in my mind!!
gosh I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!
*i miss the japanese food also, I heard that my sis's going to bring us to Paragon Hotel for sushi!!LOL*


okay
my lovely roomie just came back from watching IPman2
she said it's worthy
god I'm so looking forward!!!!
PS: had a nice talk with her, I love girl talks lah!!!! I think it should become our monthly routine. Somehow I feel it's quite essential to keep us uptodate, to keep us closer and closer of course! XDD


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hmm should i say yesterday??


Cherish everything around me
I enjoy being me=)

*don't you feel that the pictures i uploaded in this post are just LOVELY??*



with lotsa L.O.V.E.
SzEe3

as always

......

I don't know what exactly the feeling I'm having right now. By this moment, I felt so useless of myself. Thing just happened without you knowing. No one tells you for sake of letting u to continue living your good life. This feeling sucks. I'm not just an outsider!!!

The feeling of can't help but letting it happened just like that is unbearable tortured!! I knew it happened but I couldn't do anything to cure.

About days or weeks ago, I once said that I lost the feeling of tearing, now I found it back. What does that mean? I can't imagine what the situation would turn into next.







I lost myself in no way

Not Now

At the very moment

she hesitates

she holds back

she doesn't want to share anything with anyone

she's not ready yet

she can see who's the one in her eyes

she can feel what exactly her heart askes for

but not now

now is not the time

When It Comes

Looking back and rewinding the memories

I didn't lose nor lost

Reminding myself that there's a reason for everything

but sometimes,

the mystery of not knowing was more enjoyable

It is unexpected, unpredictable

if there's something happened to my loved and concerned ones

It takes time for me to accept the truth

I never thought I'd be such an emotional person?

But when it comes, I found that I hardly get over

-May God bless-

Kill It

Kill or get killed, it depends



Is it a big deal?

I don't think so

Fight for it

Over It

I might sometimes be a little bit careless

be a little bit blur

but overall I'm strong and tough enough to face the problems

Not because I 'want to', but I 'have to'

I know you're worried, I know you care about me

but it's time for me to be more independent

I'm getting over it

I know I'm not spoilt, just well taken care of.

-current situation-

Surrounding myself with lotsa love=)

Everyone is trying to find their own definition of love

there're always many people love you, just depend on how you judge the word 'love'

'One of the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in,' -'Tuesday with Morrie'

I miss my mummy's hug :'(

Mood Swing

I got my mood swing this afternoon

I have no idea why, maybe bcoz of monday blue??

The first ever time I felt this way in Melacca

Well no worries, I feel much better now

I know, there's something

but it is nothing

I am ee!!!!

Nothing can defeat me




Seeming and being are not one and the same

Turn Back the Clock

I'm seriously running out of TIME!!!!

I wish that I could turn back the clock

Bring the wheels of time to stop

-Johnny Hates Jazz-

I miss you

muackz

xoxo

Love and care are everything basic in life.

JB-ing

Hmm... First of all, I want to apologize cause it's been a week since the last post. Omg I just have no motivation and feeling kinda lazy and tired to update. Well......... I know I have plenty of photos to blog BUT *again* I really am busy until hard to drag a time for blogging.

I feeling so damn happy today, oh wait a minute, it seems happened after 4pm to be exact. I made a super-last-minute-decision going back to JB without my parents knowing. Well, I couldn't make to celebrate my mum's birthday which falls on coming monday because I have early class at 8am, that's why I intended to give her a surprise.

What's the funny thing? I couldn't help but caught myself keep smiling as well as sniggering all the way to Melaka Sentral *For those who don't know what's melaka sentral, it is a bus terminal*. I realized I was only thinking of going back home and of trying to imagine their shocking and stunned face expressions. So then my day was delighted.

I really do enjoy the time of staying at home, chatting with my loved ones. The time of being together is seemingly short yet so precious. They told me how quiet they used to be while I was not around. Prove that I'm the important one who makes the family alive and active okay??

I wondered why I have so many stories and experiences to share with them. And then I realized I was complaining again, for what? It is undoubtedly about washing clothes!!! I swear I had never anti something like this way before. SIAO!!!

Hmm how am I going to schedule my time in JB? Movie, gaigai, eating, sleeping, loafing, playing piano, ohya talking about this, I seemed like never touched piano for ages!! Gosh and I haven't get my lastbutnotleast ABRSM certificate from Ms Oon!!!! Perhaps I can get it asap.

I bet I might gain at least 1kg or so because of overindulging myself over this few days. LOL



Again, wordy post.

Let the pics do the talking next post, shall we?? I promise

I found out some pics just now and they're indeed hilarious
The pics that somebody took about years ago
When I was form 3

How come I put pinky on my head while I was sending msg???
*LOL*

Piano is loved