I'm SzeEe | The Question Answered

It's all about SzeEe. Read it or skip it.

Are we the same type?

Now I know more about myself. Even deeply. After a girls talk session with loves.

I know I'm the happiest one on earth and I should appreciate everything I got which make me richer and completed, every person whom I love and they love me in return, every matter happened which make me stronger. To whatever, whichever, whoever coming across in my life, I feel thankful. No matter it's in a good way or whatnot, as long as it did make me grow up, become even more mature in thinking, widen my life experiences, etc etc..

I will sometimes miss the old me. I will question myself who the hell I'm turning into? Do I really want to go back to the past, literally, do I want to become who I was in the past. The question never answered.

Most of the time, people don't intend to mask up themselves, pretending to be strong, acting carefree, but it's reality to make them so.

I used to disguise myself once leaving my secondary school. I didn't know how ugly the outside world is. or, the so-called REALITY. Coming across so many things, matters, I thought I'd enough strength/ability to face any obstacle in life. But life ain't this easy. What I'd experienced is just a piece of cake. A tiny bit.

Alright, I'm aware of that disguise doesn't work, couldn't help but to bow to reality. I tried with any attempt, to treat everything following my own heart, true feelings. The only pleasure is that, at least I don't have to fake my own emotions. My attitude to life, person, matters has changed to a different perspective according to the situation.

Till then, EQ is up to another level.

I'm kinda an emotionally mature kind. I always know what kind of situation benefits me, and what doesn't. I barely talk my problems to anyone. I myself is the only listener to my heart. I sometimes love my own company. I sometimes need silence more than anything.

That's me. Do you think this kind of girl called a GIRL?

Maybe, this is now the best opportunity to learn something else, to 'upgrade' myself. To grow up mentally in a different aspect. To accommodate current life well. To live happily/harmonious with people around. To make my life, my loved ones' to the fullest and bestest.

Own world no more.

Past is the past, the time machine doesn't exist. Memory is for sake of remembrance, ain't an excuse to grab it back, if it meant lot to you, it will stay forever, deep down in your heart. For anything which doesn't belong to you, it is not yours, and it will not be. God is in control.

While typing this journal, I actually have a flashback of my past. I have changed so much. I'm twenty. And still on counting.

Now the question got an answer, No. I don't want to go back.

I'm SzeEe. I'm still me. No matter this is the new or old one. Because I'm growing up. Because this is life-experiencing.

Officially step into a brand new chapter of life.

"If you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow."-Tuesday with Morrie

Life lesson? I'm a newbie of it.

xoxo