Sunday, August 16, 2015

Midnight Diary | Tell Me Who I Am

So it's been like two months plus I disappeared from the blog-sphere. Today when I finally got to check out some bloggers' blogs, only realized this "community" has significantly less active bloggers out there. Rather say, blog is slowly being forgotten by most.

I used to express freely on this space I owned since 2008. Instagram is the only social platform I actively check out. Perhaps Twitter, not often though. I don't active on Facebook even. This blog was the only place where I could on and off put down my thoughts and freed whatever shits in my mind. and I find difficulty to put my thoughts into words now.

How people change. I remember a quote I read from Nicholas Sparks, forgot from where though. He said "I don't know that love changes. People do. Circumstances do," something like that, which I find it is so so true.

I'm pretty sure the Me one year ago won't be too pleased if she sees the Me now. It's been almost one year since the first day I started working in Sg. Day by day nothing seems to change, but when you look back, everything is different. Worse comes to worst, I don't know what exactly I've done in this period of time. People think I'm living a rather good life. I'm however envious of the most of you. 

I used to have this "I'm the happiest girl on earth" mind.

I really am an easily satisfied person. A rainy day staying at home playing piano I feel happy; Having good food I feel happy; Drinking a good cup of coffee I feel happy; Reading a good book I feel happy. Even driving car I feel happy wtf. Now I'm having no luxurious to have all these simplest things. Am I not a happy person now fml.

I always appreciate the time to be with you and you. And it's getting less and less. Almost none existence. It's not the can-I-have-36hours-per-day kind of hectic life I have. But the can-I-have-a-normal-24hours-like shift work that exhausts my soul.

Meh. Bet you wouldn't even know what I'm talking about.

How sometimes I be like. LOL so unhealthy wtf.


That's all for my recent two months update.


3 books I've read within this period of time. 

1. Reconstructing Amelia, by Kimberly McCreight. It gives me chill down my spine. And kind of gives out a little 'Gone Girl' vibes. A good debut novel.

2. About a Boy, by Nick Hornby. Didn't know he's famous until I read the reviews of the books he published. About a Boy is purely a hilarious work. Well, a page turner.

3. High Fidelity, again by Nick Hornby. I had a pretty hard time to find connection as the author many times tells the story through records/song selections which I'm totally not familiar of. But this story about Rob who is the most self-denying, most fucked-up person in his own world, it's still fun to read.

Both Nick Hornby's books say something about boy and also manhood. I'm not sure how many of you have read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but by reading Hornby's books kinda gives me the same feeling and afterthought. Even more precise I'd say. Did I mention, both books I've read were adapted into films. 

"Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid. Well, they've started to give me a little pang or something - not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret. I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: "I'm sorry, I've let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it; I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me."

- High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

Didn't manage to take a picture of the book. Now look at its sexy back. and maybe focus on the little heart shape on the biscotti.

Don't I always say home is not a place it's a feeling. Well, maybe it's really more of a place than a feeling, afterall. Else people won't get homesick right? I wish I can go back home now. :'(

BEST feeling. One day when I was at home watching 台湾金曲奖 :)
The other day watching Blood Diamond and eating papaya.
Resting at home especially when you feel sick. Easily falling sick ever since I started working shift. FML.
Home cook when I was so so sick. What makes home the best is because you have family by your side. :'((((
Craving for mommy's MiHunKuey. (y)
And when I'm home, either mama cooks holiao, or baba brings us eat holiao. How not to love being with your family and eating good food.

Pontian's hawker. Best WanTanMee and ikan bakar!!
Best steamed fish and kampung chicken. 


I always find time to have a good coffee and a book. Or good coffee and good friends. Top 3 cafes I often go.
1. The Faculty of Caffeine
2. The Replacement (from same owners)
3. Just Want @ Sutera Utama (then), forgot-their-name (now) 

FOC or The Replacement. Coffee is tip-top. and so is the food and service. Environment wise I actually prefer FOC now as it's much quieter as compared to last time, cause people now flooding to the newly opened The Replacement.
Old Just Want Coffee. Forgot the new name. My usual hangout place as it's near to my house. I thought after changing to a new brand the quality would drop. Thankfully the coffee is decent still, and so the desserts. So one fine day Dajie jio-ed me and mama for coffee. Had a really hearty lovey dovey moment with them.
BFF got me this or should say I die die forced her to give me this Easter egg container from Disney Sea. Damn cute can! Thanks Yann. xoxo
M cafe @ Nusa Bestari. Coffee is not bad but I don't like the environment. Kinda stuffy sometimes. and I definitely reject to sit inside 'Monsta cafe'. Not sure they are from the same owner, but one serves only coffee and another serves food.


Not sure about guys, but most girls won't say no to a little sweet treats. 

Mommy got addicted to this.
Bf got addicted to this.
Singaporeans got addicted to this. LOL! Just joking la. But frankly 80% of the cars I saw which parked at the road side of durian stalls were Singapore cars. 
50sen of joy during SG50.


When dessert can't buy you enough happiness, here comes a little boost. HAHAHA

Appreciate this fella bought me wine all the way from Russia. Kyaler Chan the future doc, thanks xx. Words can't say enough and we have no time to meet up. How la you tell me!!!!! 
Now I learn to appreciate the taste of Guinness. Well not exactly, I only drink draught Guinness from tap. Those bottles wan still cannot make it. and I did feel the alcohol level is higher.
The other wild night we spent @ Renaissance JB thanks to ChunPing. Missing the taste of honey vodka.
When we were all still sober. LOL. How are you people doing. Man this feels like ages.
Lai this is how you should hold a wine glass. Definitely a memorable night. It's hard to get together, but when we do, we do it sexy and wild wtf. 
And another one fine day... To be honest, this could be one of the best drinking rounds we had. Silent screaming and laughing and all. You know what I mean.


My friendssssssssssssssssss..........

So one day in our group chat, those in JB wanted to go for breakfast. And the rest of us feeling imbalanced (or only me?). So we decided to post our breakfast pic in the group. Guess which one is mine? (sob)
Taken like months ago. My drinking kaki in Sg. Aghh I feel super guilty because I'm always the one to ffk. All the re-scheduling this and that. Meh. I'm forgiven right. Shifter privilege? :X
On that same day, same time, different places.
JB vs Moscow.
Awaiting to go in Sg vs awaiting to fly back Malaysia.
Coffee vs lappy
Fair vs dark
(LOLLLLL inside joke)
and this little bro met us both dajiejie in Sg. Never ending teasing and all.
Qian's convo. Felt so bad I couldn't make it. Shifter-life-sucks. Anyway you got my heartfelt wishes right. Be our little sun as always. I know you do. You always do.
Ping's bday. Guess you have had enough of my wishes? oh + my mom's. LOL!
Also the day I first met Rui's bf. Damn funny la. Ramzen's doppelganger. Good to meet you ahBeng.
Just few days back? My girls in Sg. Damnnnn life is hard. Meeting you in Sg is even harder la wtf. xoxo


The pitiful Bf. Many said we are worse than those couples having long-distance relationship thanks to my shift work. Shifter-life-sucks. :X

No we don't have romance dinner. Prefer to take it this way. LOL. My favourite fish head meehun. *slurp*
Bullshitting about anything over coffee.
And annoy each other to the core. I sent this to him, and he asked me for a TAG in return. Like what? you wish. 

So the bits and bobs of my life lately. Doesn't seem as bad. 

Okay la maybe I'm living a good live afterall. (self-convince)

End of my shift. 

Morning earthlings.

Good night.