25 | Piano Cover: Faded by Alan Walker

Starting this entry with the last sentence of my last post.

"25 is definitely a big deal."

I must say reality is harsh. I was such a dreamer back then. Although no, I have no ambition like becoming someone big in the future, but I also never thought that I'd be like who I am today (haha no it isn't that bad as it sounds, my life). You must think what happened to me. But really what happened was just, I expected more from myself.

***

I was fearless. I was full of hope. I was passionate. I was almost always positive. I was such optimistic person I thought I'd survive in any given situation. In this process we called growing up I guess I somehow let loose of some principles I always held dear. Any old friend of mine would have known me this way, I always said,

"Don't worry be happy."
"What it meant to be, it will be."

The older I get, those are the harder to believe.

"It's okay, look at the bright side," I tell myself.
"Nah you will see. You know it ain't that simple," another voice in my head chimes in, almost every damn time.

***


I've been staying in my comfort zone for far too long. Longer than I'd expected, than anybody has had. I find the irony of what I've been looking, 'to be happy'. It used to be something I always aspired to. But somehow at this age, to be happy doesn't seem enough of a goal any more. Does it?

I guess putting everything on hold to achieve that one thing, actually means that you are miserable along the way to getting there. And when you finally get there, you might find that the thing you always wanted doesn't make you as happy as you thought it would. Now it may sound cliché, but it becomes apparent that happiness shouldn't be a destination but a part of the journey of our lives. We all know that but who actually really gives a darn about the journey. Well at least I didn't, shame to say.

Life is hard and we are all struggling in our own ways.

On the surface everybody is living a darn good life, who knows what would you see when you scratch the surface. The older I get and the more people I meet (well not as many as I'm #猫在noc的女孩, wtf so long never used this hashtag), the less I think I know. In the end of the day, you only know as much as people want you to know.



***

Feeling especially emotional when I looked back old photos and words I wrote or shared. Glad that I have this blog to remind myself who I was, or should I say who I really am? I know I can never have that same naive but genuine feelings to myself ever again. I know I can't simply pen down my feelings and thoughts anymore. I don't care being judged or whatsoever, I always don't. It's just something has changed, I don't know. Is that how becoming an adult turn you into?

When I was young and innocent back then, I always thought I had not just a perfect day but a perfect, smooth sailing life. Because it's too perfect you see, something was bound to go wrong. Now, "this" is not wrong, but it's not my way either.

*Pianosheet (Eb minor original key)* credit goes to Joyce Leong

Seeing the bigger picture, I still like to think myself as a happy human being though, despite what I've just written. No doubt I'm that good at transitioning my mood. I just don't like the idea of being unhappy myself, let alone being unappreciative (I hope I don't sound like one mygod).

I used to believe I have kinda like bipolar symptoms anyway hahaha. Well personally a bit unhappy that my saving for past few months has almost been a flat line wtf but overall I'm still happy.

Time for some freedom off all shit.

***


I'm reading this book, still on-going. This sentence I read hit me hard.

"Because you have to be a certain age to earn the right to ruin your own life." - Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult

It may sound too harsh for me to put myself in that situation.

But sometimes, you don't need an explanation.


love,
Ee

The Leap Year | Feb 29

oh well... so it's another once-every-four-years Feb 29. I dug out if I had written anything on last Feb 29, turned out I actually did on 2012. :X

Have a read of leap year and wow. I didn't know why and how until I read this article from The Telegraph. There are many topics covered from how slim the chance to be born on Feb 29 to successful/failure rate of leap year proposals. Interesting.

"Leap seconds are crucial to ensuring the time we use does not drift away from time based on the Earth's spin."

"The extra second can sometimes cause problems for some networks which rely on exact timings. When a last leap second was added in 2012 Mozilla, Reddit, Foursquare, Yelp, LinkedIn, and StumbleUpon all reported crashes and there were problems with the Linux operating system and programmes written in Java."

- source: HERE The Telegraph (you may want to have a look!)

***

Hmm. To me, this Feb 29 is just the day to return back to work. It's Monday. It's the last day of Feb 2016. The end of the eventful month. 

I had a one-week long break on CNY this year. Visiting relatives and friends, non-stop eating, nua-ing at home. Best. I find myself took it long to adapt/resume back to working life. Blame the CNY snacks?

***

Back in Jan. We had a considerably "big" celebration to our Jan babies. Teng's on 24th and jHui's on 26th. My god entering the quarter-century birthday wtf. 

Jan babies.

the beautiful ladies.

lai cheers ;)

act. XD

The highlight of the night would be hitting the lucky draw and getting a bottle of redwine. BUT. Soon when we were leaving, Qian couldn't start her car engine and found that her car battery was dead FHL. The kind waiters of the restaurant helped us jump starting the car TQ!

The scene was too precious/funny not to be taken down as record. Hahaha

The very next day? or next two days I forgot. Bunch of us back to Sg for work. That's the behind-the-scene of the seemingly glamorous life of ours and ofcourse our behind-the-makeup bare faces FOL! Feeling as if a betrayer now dont care wtf hahahaha.

Ohhhh and I cut my long hair short...er. Much shorter than I initially thought it would be. Now I miss my long hair. Ugh. Should have trusted Jason the hairdresser. He did warn me though. 

及腰长发 eh? LOL

hen short you mei you...... well.. hair will grow eventually.... :'( 

***

Stepping into February. Big thing for Chinese is of course CNY.

Contributed my bears as one of the house CNY decos.

老妈子. You probably think "this 不孝女" right letting my mom climb up and down. NO. She didn't let me. Hence I was the inspector checking if the paper-cutting was correctly placed at the middle.

CNY eve lunch. The fish is humongous no kid.

CNY eve car wash. The task given to Leejin and I. Both my parents' settled and now the "small cars" turn.

CNY eve night. Chill at home and listening to the fireworks and firecrackers for a good one hour. What's CNY for without angpao? hehehe

CNY Chor 1. The family.

CNY Chor 1. The siblings.

CNY Chor 1. The "siblings".

CNY Chor 1. The cousins.

CNY Chor 1. The partial family.

CNY Chor 2.

CNY Chor 3. Old friend meetup. Mr Chan.

CNY Chor 3. Family gathering 之 妈 我得奖啦!! 抱得一座海底爷. 

CNY Chor 5. Old friends meetup. Mr Lim and Ms. Chew.

I never drank beer in a reallyyyy looooong while. XingJ see your face so big. HAHAHA.

CNY Chor 6. Short gambling session @ My house. Herng cosplayed dragon ball Goku?

CNY Chor 6. Qian's house. The gang.

CNY Chor 7. 人日 Mama's Pun Choy.

CNY Chor 11. Meetup with Cat.

aka my first time eating korean fried chicken.

CNY Chor (?). Visiting aunt's old school kopitiam + drinking milo-peng. 

CNY very-super-duper sinful brunch, bak gua toast. 

***

CNY (?) Chor 16 (?). Unimates meetup.

Thanks for the llaollao Terry Teh :P

♥♥♥

and Feb I have another big day to celebrate. or maybe not so big XD.

Went to Gianni's trattoria. We love the appetizer maybe too much. and this pizza is nice. Everything is good especially my company? Steal a shot. Happy birthday my man.

just wanna be a little vain. 21st, ♥, :)

♥♥♥

A little book review....

Think in January I done reading this book Trust in Me/You Can Trust Me, a mystery crime story by Sophie McKenzie. 

Decided to purchase the book from this, "a long second passes before I let out my breath and the knowledge slams into my brain. Julia. My best friend. Is dead."

Very catching and fast-paced. Although I think the author can be more careful/detailed in building up the plot and some characters. I somehow find plothole like how did the murderer sneak in to Livy's property and what is the murderer's motive. The author never explained that until the end of the story or just lightly brushed through. However I do admire some characters like Will in the story, seems like a sophisticated person.

They said when you finish reading a good novel, you will find yourself slightly exhausted at the end of the story because you live several lives all at once. So true. 

Trust in Me: 3.5/5.

"But now I know the things I know, and do the things I do. And if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you." Not originally coming from the Author but this is so ME. This is how you find connections with the books.

I googled a little about Dorothy Parker. Dorothy Parker was an American poet, short story writer, critic, and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks and eye for 20th-century urban foibles. - Wiki.

Here's the full poem of the quote in the novel.

“In youth, it was a way I had,

To do my best to please.

And change, with every passing lad

To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know

And do the things I do,

And if you do not like me so,

To hell, my love, with you.” 

I fancy her poems and this is by far the best I resonate with. 

“By the time you swear you're his,

Shivering and sighing.

And he vows his passion is,

Infinite, undying.

Lady make note of this --

One of you is lying.” 

Witty!

Ok turned out I became a fan of Dorothy Parker. Well..

in some editions are named You Can Trust Me.

***

Oh Hi! 

My first book revolving repressive social circumstances of China's Cultural Revolution. Ha Jin, the author won the National Book Award for a reason. It doesn't have a fast-paced plot. I can say the book has no climax of its own, doesn't have raising or falling action even. I don't know why but the book is enchanting. Very reserved, but well-characterised. From now and then you would see Chairman Mao's theories or political views being inserted throughout the novel.

Here's what I grabbed from Wiki. 

“Waiting is set against the background of a changing Chinese society. It contrasts city and country life and shows the restrictions on individual freedoms that are a routine part of life under communism. But Waiting is primarily a novel of character. It presents a portrait of a decent but deeply flawed man, Lin Kong, whose life is spoiled by his inability to experience strong emotions and to love wholeheartedly.”

Waiting: 4/5.

***

Shopping in Popular bookstore and found this is interesting. Guess I'm now grabbing the tix to the heaven. Should have hold it tied right?

***

for all the sin I've had. Forgive me.

***

aghhh few hours left for this Feb 29. 

Gotta prepare for work real soon. Damn night shift.

Reality is so harsh especially just flashing back to the past.

Gulp down and move on.

Is this called adulthood? 

I'm planning to write down the adulthood I'm having at this phase of my life.

25 is definitely a big deal.

love,

Ee

Lately | Piano Cover: Oltremare by Ludovico Einaudi

Oh. New song from same pianist I covered the *last time*, Ludovico Einaudi. It got more and more frustrating cause I tried to perfect it and re-record for many times. Anyway I end up using the very first one. Meh. This is a pretty long piece and I messed up a lot of times. All works from this pianist is amazing and very soothing you may check them out. Since this blog post is gonna be long anyway, you can listen to this while reading? Tqvm. HAHAHA

*PS: hate my pink nails wtf. I really cannot keep my nails long*

Here's a very random post since I've got nothing better to do. I've been slacking. Ever since I moved to this new place with my bff (I was staying alone) I find it too comfy to get out. I'd rather stay in our room for ever. Well except going back home in jb.

Hmm...There are quite some photos I haven't got the chance to post on my blog/instagram.

***

Throwback to one month ago...

I wonder if I'd make a separate blog post about this. Probably no. To many photos to sort. I just simply choose some for now.

Had a 5d4n roadtrip to the North with my family. Well too bad Dajie couldn't make it this time. Went to Ipoh first, then 2 nights in Penang and finally 1 night in KL.

Never been to Ipoh before this. Didn't know Ipoh actually become a tourist hotspot! Flooded with tourists every single corner in Ipoh old town. Not to mention that day was a normal weekday.

Ipoh yo. One of the famous mural arts around town.

mummy took this photo of me when we finally checked in hotel.

met up with my longlost uni housemate/roomie! Both ladies are Ipoh-ians. Glad that you girls made time for me! 

Perak cave Temple.

very sincere de baibai wishing the new year will shunshunlili.

stopped by Kuala Sepetang for seafood lunch. A fish village between Perak border and Penang?

Penang! I always love Penang for no apparent reason. Now there's one obvious reason why I love Penang more. Probably? :X

I was so in love with Penang until one point where I wished to have my internship here. My mom didn't allow at that time. I wasn't determined enough anyway.

Been here with my uni gang when we first started our Beta year? I was 19/20? Visit here again after 4/5 years. The oldest temple in Penang.

very sincere de baibai x2. HAHA. I'd say I'm not a 虔诚 Buddhist. :X

find this very funny. and so is leejin's face expression.

strolling around...

some 'act' photos @ Penang Hill. Last visited here with the bf @ June 2014. 

So many changes in one year plus.

same as previous instagram's caption. Guess didi was having a hard time hahahha.

KL. Popping by a cafe @ SS2. I guess it's the first time to go to a cafe with my dad. Guess he had no choice though. However from this experience, he likes Americano. But still prefers his kopi-o more.

Finally last stop @ KL. Parents made my dream come true. Been wanting to go ever since BBW announced this news on their FB fanpage around October? The last time I came here (MIECC) was Dec 2013 @ 12 midnight and strolled until 4am in the morning yo.

Book harvest that day. Damn happy to find Dorothy Koomson's new book, and Mitch Albom's hardback! The Last Lecture, though, I've read it and loved it. I  borrowed from a friend of mine last time and thought it is worth to add in to my own collection.

***

and then... Had few gatherings.

wasn't able to attend the once-a-year gathering. Good to have met (some of) you guys in sg though.

Mid-Dec we had an xmas gathering with friends I knew since forever. Thanks to our beloved jiahui the organizer who threw this party and managed all the impossibles, Low-family the location sponsor, and all the food/dessert/beer contributors. 

coolest xmas tree!!

and coolest people I've known for my whole life. Who's the coolest? Yingrui was probably the coolest/coldest before she fell hopelessly in love with ahbeng opps. Hahahahah

I was really looking forward to this Christmas wonderland. I didn't expect the crowd was anything close to what I really encountered that night. It was horribly crowded and stuffy I didn't enjoy much tbh.

the lighting and all is really really nice though. Everything was so delicately decorated

how it looked like when light-off.

luckily the people I went together with, are super ultra lovely. Thank god they made everything thousand times better.

finally met up with my drinking kaki in sg after half a year? Wasn't able to catch up for a proper drink this time though I was rushing for work. Corona doesn't count right. I never drink and work. :X :X perhaps we can really fulfil jiahui's wine's craving next time alright. I know it's all down to me....... :X 

***

Next was... Leejin the xmas baby birthday.

Someone finally turned 21. Wanted to make this cake worth every penny so tons of photos taken. I was having difficulty which photo of you to choose.

smooches. Meimei jiajia lo didn't kiss on cheek!

baba looked handsome here. Hoho.

Long story short, it's the watch I bought for my sis as her birthday present, having this promotion to topup 96 to have another mystery watch. So this is what I got. My first Swiss made watch LOL!

***

Of all randomness... 

went to City Square shopping with my mom one evening. After that she said "let's go Danga Bay." She was happy like a kid, literally. I felt happy too.

The three books I've read in December. Tempting Fate is the book with the most beautiful cover out of all I have! And it's hardback too. 

Shout out to book readers, 'Room' is exceptional, it's inspired by true events *click here to know more*. The narrator is a little boy. All the point of view was coming from a 5-year-old imagine that. The author made it so believable. The introduction is captivating enough to keep you going.

"Stories are a different kind of true."

"Sometimes when persons say definitely it sounds actually less true."

"I guess the time gets spread very thin like butter over all the world, the roads and houses and playgrounds and stores, so there's only a little smear of time on each place, then everyone has to hurry on to the next bit"

I think mom brought us here since we were very very young like 5-6 years old. My favourite oldschool ice-kacang.

first time going for pink nails. MAD regret.

Went to Orchard on the first day of 2016 to catch a R21 movie 'Carol'. It's good. The actresses were good. I like the setting of the movie. Lesbian romance in this movie is somehow. weirdly satisfying to watch hahaha. Strolling around and saw this street performer, bringing so much laughter and happiness to the kids and putting a smile on the adults. Perhaps this is one of the reasons which drives them to keep doing it. It's priceless.

Not sure if anyone remembers/knows this. When you get your bus ticket, check the ticket number. If total up is 21, means you will have a lucky day ahead. I dont know where does it originate from. But I have this habit since secondary school. Feeling as if I strike lottery when I got one last time. 

lunch date with mummy. This simple fried garlic mushroom spaghetti is nice.

oh and this is meimei like 29years ago. HAHAHAHA opps. Mama shared this in our group chat on her birthday last week. Damn cute. Surrounded by all male cousins. Undoubtedly the queen since young.

***

I don't fancy any singer/groups in particular. Hmm wait, maybe CNBlue haha. I listen to all genre of songs as long as it's appealing to my ear. Be it English, Chinese, Korean. However nowadays I find YG boy groups Winner and iKON are very, very talented. I can't stop finding their songs, videos, clips on youtube. And yesterday...

It's the first song I purchased from iTunes. Been listening to this. Repeatedly. Mad in love with the melody. and the rapper Mino sings! Can die.

*Play it play it. Really hen nice!!!*

When I love one song, I'd listen to it on repeat until... I don't know, maybe till the next song replaces it. Prior to this, I was listening to this...

Baby, I Love You by Tiffany Alvord. Most of her songs/covers are nice.

***

oh and I went to Melaka during Xmas to reminisce some old memories. Wrong move. Was stuck in jam forever. We had KFC as our dinner FOL. Luckily Starwars make it worthwhile. This is probably the only decent photo I have.

just wanted to piss someone off. HAHAHAHAHAHA

typing away in my room.

***Get out for dinner***

had this dancing crab without real crab. Crab cakes instead. 

We should put on a *smirk face* instead (you know why) 

Too many things to focus on especially at this stage of our lives, lets look past what had happened and enjoy the moment, and appreciate all we've got now.

Sometimes it's this simplicity, the familiarity make me feel safe. But things change, people change, no nothing will ever be the same. Who knows one day I will face one of those situations where being forced to step out of comfort zones. It can be scary, but this is life. 

要看开点……

"I like to think I can see people's souls through their eyes. You've got a good one."

love,

Ee