when I was young, I used to dream of becoming an artist. Not those pop stars, but the artist who paints and draws. But I'm an engineering student now.
when I was form 4 and 5, physics was the subject I hated the most compared to chemistry and biology. But I'm taking engineering course now.
You'll be amazed by how time can change a person. Good to bad. Here to there. This to that. Vice versa.
You won't be an interesting person if you don't have ups and downs in life. Don't have a story to tell. Don't have experiences to share. Path with no obstacles probably doesn't lead you anywhere, I believe many of you heard that. and I'm the believer of this theory. That's how I would tell myself whenever I'm not okay.
All in all, I just want to convince myself that, I'LL BE OKAY.
Yesterday (Monday) 8am was the first class of my new sem. and I've been feeling so stressful since then. I haven't been feeling this way for ages and I'm not sure when it's gonna stop. Things turned out to be negative and I need to fix them right. Say not only a matter, but A LOT of things left undone or just, wrong. I even tried to ignore and put them aside, but then I realized I couldn't focus on anything. The past 24 hours, I was doing craps, ignoring facts, pretending to be okay. It's just so damn wrong I didn't fucking feel like I'm 'me' at all.
Until that one point, I read a tweet, I'd rather look back at my life and say "I can't believe I did that" instead of saying, "I wish I did that." I felt all better. Because I believe for what I'm doing now, will certainly pay off for good.
and then before dinner time, I was in library reading papers. Here's one article I read that made me feeling all good. Not better but good. I felt like 'I'm back'.
A simple article, nothing fancy inside but it somehow soothed me. Just saying that the pair of old folks taking care of each other and still in love at such old age.
Guess that's how love makes the world goes round.
after reading that articles for like ten minutes, I received something from my roomie....
she sent this fella to me, "Idk why i saw this pic and it reminds me of you"
and my world was like BOOM, exploding with fireworks or something which really lighted up my day!
*I was like sitting alone and laughing silently to myself, people must think: total weirdo*
Thanks my dear. It does look a lot like me. Small eyes, big specs, and what Theng said "big head". wtf
You never know how a simple/kind act can totally cheer someone up.
Sure enough, feeling alright after calling back home, and typing this blog post. Talking to mommy for 20 minutes, I'm so much loved.
Keeping everything simple is the rule I posted in my room.
*if you remember this pic*
Looking for the best is what I should do now. Never know I can actually predict things. School reopened just for two days (for me), I already had few things correct. and I did call back home to seek for reassurance. It's a good sign or what? - -
oh and, the hurricane Sandy slams US for real. When I looked at the FB shared pic I thought to myself, damn heck lar the photo so fake why people still passing it around? then I read the paper today, ohhhhh. What a scary serious disaster.
Pray hard to US. God bless the whole nation.
andddddddd (endless and(s) - -""), here's a quote from Xiaxue the blogger, "Courage and honesty (and the courage to maintain honesty) are things I really value in life and try hard to be. In this world where so many are faking it till they make it, especially on the internet, for fame or money, I'm glad being honest is still being valued."
Though I'm not a big fan of hers, but this really 'clicks' my mind. So simple yet so true.
So rather than telling lies, some stories better kept untold...
love,
Ee
